How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
