I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
