So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
