i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
