So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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