Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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