they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
