Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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