ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
