Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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