yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
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We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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