remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I look better un-naked...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
