If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize