I'm jealous of your bromance
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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