I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
