I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
