yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
