I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
