He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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