Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize