the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Someone signed my nipple.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
