dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
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