We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
