Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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