Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
