am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
