well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
