Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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