so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
