He told me they were just razor bumps!
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She's the barista slut.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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