Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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