whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
