Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
