You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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