i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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