I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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