Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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