I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
