I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
