you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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