Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
