I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
