Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
