Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
