Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
3 2 1 whiskey
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
