epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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