If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
