On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
