Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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