That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
last night I used snow as a chaser
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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