I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
