i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
