You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.