I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
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I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
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Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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