they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Someone came in the potted fern
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
