For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
