Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
