How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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