How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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