dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The power of my boobs compel you
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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