Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
