oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
