I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Randomize
