We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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