Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just sucked dick on a ferry
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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