Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
