Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
