Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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