we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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