I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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