Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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